i'm about to become a stripper!

LOL!
That was my status line on fb.
I had gotten punk'd when I responded to my friend Angela's post. ("WOW. I can't believe I'm getting MARRIED in two weeks.") Honestly, I should have noticed the lack of exclamation points and been tipped off.
My penance was to select one of a dozen or so fake status lines and post it, to see who I could rope in.
Then the hilarity ensued!

The first to bite was one of my former students.

Gerkerea H: "Professor Smith cut it out!!! This just made my day. Love you!!!"

She was quickly followed by my maternal cousin in Augusta.

Sharon H: "Stripper as in stripping a finish off of wood furniture?"

After a slight lull, a flurry of comments arose from my Alabama half-brother, my BFF, my niece in Ontario, and my outlaw Bunny's husband.

Matthew S: "Good . I always wanted a stripper sister."

Sandra V: "Work it girl!!!!"
(Her son and daughter both "liked" the post, which still counts as having acknowledged it. Na nee na nee ha ha!)

Valerie M: "Just don't pull Mom into your shenanigans."

Steve R: "Be sure to chose some good music to strip by!!"

Another hour went by.
Then, my first niece, her maternal aunt, a lunch lady, and an Oregon friend rounded out those taken in by the prank.

Christina W: "What in the world?"

Robin M: "You hot? Go 'head wit yur bad self."

Marjorie W: "Have I told you that I'm a visual person???"

Brant D: "Pictures or it didn't happen! :-)"

After that, I let them all know: "You've all been punk'd! Technically, I should have each of you choose from a list of fake status lines, but I won't. Unless you want to..."

Yep, that was fun!

popcorn, pastry, pizza, AND a penny!

Today has been so full of wonderful moments!!!
I was up around 8 AM.
Yes, I realize that is not my usual time to waken. Rather, once upon a time, it was not my usual waking hour. However, since there is no oak tree to block the morning sun from my bedroom window, I have been rising earlier of late. Actually, ever since the "spring forward" time, I have been rousing about 7 AM, but I usually pop my synthroid and go back to sleep for an hour.
As the summer heat starts stirring mercury pretty hard by ten AM, I've been going ahead and getting up while the day is still cool. Today, I'd had breakfast and it wasn't even 9 AM.
But, wait! Today is Tuesday!!! That meant I could catch a cheap kid movie this morning!
Quickly, I studied my cinema schedules. Which ones to see today, tomorrow, and Thursday? Then what to do afterward? How to best use my time and my gasoline?
Done!
The pelicula de la dia would be "Book of Life"! It was at the Regal Cinema, out by the school.
Okay! What else to do out there?
Well, I could always go to my office, do a bit of catching up on my blogs...but I also needed to go downtown to pay my water bill, as that one slipped up on me while I was on vacation. (It's due TODAY.)
I took a quick shower, grabbed the satchel with my office stuff, grabbed the water bill, grabbed Ronnie's new Chick-Fil_A card, and out I flew!
I even made it there right as the movie was starting! Hooray!
Afterward, I used the coupon for the $2 popcorn special. There had been no time to stand in line for it earlier. Now, I would have fresh treats for later. Hooray!
After a quick phone call to Sue Crowe about Ronnie, I realized it would be tomorrow, at the earliest, before I would see him. Tomorrow will be July 1st. By that time, the June special, of free medium waffle fries and free large soda, would have expired. So, I treated myself to that special! Yum!
Now, to the school or to downtown?
My car was up for a drive, so off to Veterans Parkway and Broughton Street!
Amazingly, I found a parking spot only two blocks from the utility service center. Wow! What good fortune!
Within twenty-five minutes, the bill had been paid and I was back to the car.
Now what? I still had at least thirty minutes on the meter. Might as well make the most of it!
I was parked between the CVS and Panera. First, I went to CVS, managing to speak to a pharmacist about the bug-bite rash on my left arm, left foot, and left side. I took it as a good sign that he was not mortified by the appearance of the rash! He recommended Benadryl cream and that's what I bought, using the last of the free money on the gift cards from Crescent Resort.
Still had time on the meter!
I had not yet picked up my free birthday pastry from Panera, so I bopped over there. The asiago sourdough was only three dollars, so I bought a loaf. The birthday goodie I chose? A pecan roll! I love those things!
Back out to the car, I put my buys into the trunk and saw it. A shiny new penny was behind my car, at my feet.
Right place, right time!
I had just one more item on my agenda: the pizza special from Papa Murphy's. My boys of summer had scored the five runs on the Sunday afternoon game, but then the rains had come. That game had been completed tonight, so the Dollar Monday ticket had meant the large, five-topping pie was only $5. Not only for me, but also for my first niece, her husband, and their foster son! (Thanks for coming to the game with me two days in a row, y'all!)
Now, I'm home again with my treasures! Nearly free popcorn! Free pecan roll! Nearly free pizza! Free anti-itch cream! Free soda! Free penny of love!
The free fries?
Oh, they're already gone.
(smile)
I wonder what the evening will hold?
But for now, "Married With Children" is on to entertain me while I munch on sourdough bread.
Later!

on holiday with Mama!

You see her, right?
Look under the pink hat, to the left and down from the little waterfall.
Not the whole face and certainly not the sunglasses.
Look at that smile...
100 % Mama.
I was amazed, but not really surprised, to find this evidence that she was with me at the Polynesian Isles.

She had told me, as I was driving down to Kissimmee two weeks ago, that she was always with me on these adventures.
I had been entertaining myself with thought, along with music, as I often do on these drives. After I crossed the Florida state line and had successfully maneuvered through the construction in Jacksonville, I allowed myself to relax a little.
That's when I started thinking about how I was going to be down here alone. My first niece and her husband were supposed to be with me, but DFACS had intervened. I had invited others to share the two-bedroom with me, but had no takers (work conflicts).
That's when I said to myself, "Mama and I were supposed to go traveling the world together after she retired."
And, justthatfast, the response rang out: "I am always with you on these trips."
As soon as I heard it, I realized that was the truth.
She is always with me.
Everywhere I go, in town or away.
If that were not true, how else would I find, everywhere, the pennies that fall from the sky in front of me?
It especially makes sense that she would be with me when I am staying at a "Vacations for a Lifetime" resort.

I met with Christopher Leblanc, a "vacation counselor" for Diamond Resorts, on the 16th. That was my first day at Mystic Dunes on my Silver Sampler.
Due to poor communication skills amongst Diamond Resorts employees, he was unaware that I was there on a sampler. He thought I was there for a sales pitch and had the wrong paperwork with him.
No, I told him, I am already an owner and was there simply to satisfy my obligation with the Silver Sampler package. In return for use of the Sampler to book my stay, I had consented to a meeting with the sales folk. That obligation was my only reason for being in his office.
I emphatically told him that I was not in the market for any more points. I have plenty of points, more than I usually use every year. (No worries, they do not go to waste. I roll them over to the next year.)
He had asked how I had originally come to be a Silver Elite owner with Diamond Resorts.
So I had told him in plain English.
My mother was dying and I wanted something that would make sure I went on a nice vacation every year. Epic Resorts for the answer, especially as it would be transferred to my heirs upon my death.
Then. I told him, Epic was absorbed by Club Sunterra, which subsequently was bought up by Diamond. hence, I was not a Diamond owner by choice, but by happenstance.
I think that was not the answer he expected.
He asked me why I had bought the Silver Sampler if I was already an owner.
I told him the sales crew had been so feverish to sell me 'something, anything, anything at all!', that they had offered the Sampler. It was about the same price as my annual fees, but would net me another 15000 points to use, with zero obligation to buy anything at the end of the Sampler period. Of course I had taken the deal.
That was in mid-December of 2013.
Diamond Resorts International had already announced six months earlier that it was going to go public on the New York Stock Exchange. They were not supposed to sell the Samplers to owners... and yet, there I was, a Silver Elite owner with a Silver Sampler, just six months later.
As I told Christopher, Diamond Resorts should never have sold that to me, especially knowing that they were going public before my Sampler would expire...but they sold it to me anyway.
I think he honestly did not know what to do with me.
So he turned me loose after only fifty minutes.

I repeated my tale to Mindy Santana, another vacation counselor, just three days ago. I was at Crescent Resort at South Beach. I had met with her strictly for the $150 in VISA gift cards, nothing more.
She asked that I not meet with any more sales people. They make no money if I don't buy anything, she told me. I told her to tell the sales people to not call me.
I hope the word spreads for them to leave me alone on my vacations.

Since I used the money from Mama's death to help fund my vacation lifestyle, it's only natural that she travel with me. It's only natural that she lend me the confidence, as well as a polite demeanor, to fight off the pocketbook thieves disguised as "consultants".
I find great solace in that thought.

birdcage in a mango!

Here is where I stayed: Crescent Resort.
What proof do I have?
Well, that's my pink hat in the left-hand window on the second floor.
I took this on my way down Ocean Drive.
I had finished off the pasta and chicken from last night's dinner and was
in need of some dessert...
and maybe a show!

After all, this is my last night
in South Beach.
I definitely need to partake of some of the night life active on this Strip!
It's now or never, as Elvis would say!
Here is an evening shot of the triplet
on my magnet!
Actually, it's not exactly like the magnet.
But it's very, very close!

To the left of the Crescent is the place
with that ceviche I had for brunch.
It also supplied the parking area - somewhere - where the valet has stored my car until tomorrow morn.
The Penguin opened in 1948,
so it is a bit late to be Art Deco,
but I say this place fits in beautifully!

This Pelican seems ready to
fly away with the sun,
or perhaps to soar to the moon!
After looking at its website,
this 1994 hotel sounds like a
really cool place to stay.
But which of its themed rooms to choose??
I suggest more than one night there...
(smile)

This is most likely the one Art Deco hotel you've seen over and over in photos.
Built in 1936 and renovated a
scant four years ago,
Hotel Breakwater has its blue neon gleaming night and day.
It truly is a magnificent structure!
But it doesn't say "Art Deco" in the sweet, quaint voice of the Crescent, does it?

Speaking of facelifts and such,
The Carlyle was half-veiled to hide
the fine surgery being done
on its 1941 facade.
But don't think this is a hotel
these days.
Oh, no, she's all condos...
but they can be rented.

How about this one, you ask?
Is this 1937 beauty a hotel still?
Yes, indeed, the Waldorf Towers
very much is!
With its corner lot,
just about halfway down Ocean Drive,
the hotel has a prime location
for people-watching.
Trust me, you'll be doing lots of that!

Recognize this one from earlier?
Of course you do!
Its Victor, the hotel which honors
my bfe's cat!
Although its exterior retains
its earlier glory,
the interiors have all been updated.
Better? I don't know.
Just newer.

The same is true of this 1936 structure,
designed by L. Murray Dixon.
The insides were resculpted in 2008,
to make it more pleasant for
today's modern visitors.
I like that its demure demeanor at dusk.
(smile)

The Edison is beginning to
shine forth its neon to
light up a traveler's face.
Or something like that.
(smile)
(No, these are not in chronological order, but that's okay.
We have arrived at our destination!)

Mango's Tropical Cafe!
Pumping music out to the street
already on this summer eve!
When I asked the doorman about
the cinematic link to "The Birdcage",
he had no idea what I was talking about.
Then again, perhaps he is simply too young?
His loss!
I hope he will watch the 1996 movie now, especially the opening credits, with the
great view of Ocean Drive from the Atlantic!

There were great views inside, too!
For instance, this Cherry Lemonade Mojito is quite lovely, isn't it, as is the bartop.
(smile!)
But much more loveliness was to come.
No, not their version of the ubiquitous chocolate lava cake - it was cloying and quite mundane.
I speak of the night's entertainers!

Lovely dancers!
These two were so sweet together,
and the tune was romantic,
starting the music set beautifully.
What was the song?
I cannot recall the name of it.
(sigh)
Maybe it'll come to me later
and I'll let you know.
(smile)

A lovely dancer in flashy ruffles,
with trumpeter,
for "Besame mucho"!
Oh, yes, please do!
(smile!)

Another pair of dancers!
This guy was SO hot, y'all!
His moves...
oh, my, his moves...
definitely sweet dreams tonight!

Then a singer took the stage!
She was okay,
but what really got my attention
were her shoes...
with their six-inch heels!

The bartender took the stage
for this dance number.
He was really good, too!
I took this photo for my BFF,
but I like it, too.
More sweet dreams!

Then, after a mariachi trio had wended
their way through the audience,
the trumpet man was back to the stage,
with another lovely one
dancing to his solo tune!
Yet more sweet dreams?
Oh, you bet!
(smile!)

One last act for this set
and it was a doozy!
Believe it or not,
this pair was a rap mime duo.
I kid you not!
And they were
so
very
good.
Wow!
Very nice way to end the evening
and my last night in SoBe!

art deco, little havana, and a boat ride

After my "Owner Update" this morning,
and with my two gift cards firmly in hand,
I decided to test drive the $50 one.
Brunch at the Purple Penguin?
You bet!
It was right next door, too,
just in case there was a problem
with the new VISA,
you understand.

But was there need for concern?
Absolutely not!
I dined on Ceviche Meets SoBe,
a dish with a bit of a kick
and a lovely appearance,
much like my waiter, Stuart.
(smile)
Ah, such a sweet young man!

And such a fine sweet morning, too!
Ah, to begin every day with such a view!
After my "free" feast, I set out for the Art Deco Welcome Center.
Half-Price Tours' bus trip around Miami (with a boat tour included!) would not pick me up until 1 PM.
Plenty of time for a nice morning walk!

I know what you're thinking.
"That isn't Art Deco!"
Well, you are absolutely correct.
Still, I like the juxtaposition
of the swaying palm trees
and the sandcastle styling.
And the star-like designs at the top
make Netherland a little less modern,
wouldn't you agree?

The Leslie, however, most definitely hearkens back from the 1930's era!
Such a lovely yellow!
It brings to mind my sunroom -
so bright and cheerful!
Not bad for almost 80 years old!

At first glance, the 1936 Cavalier
may seem a bit bland.
But look closer.
The tile inlays on its face are
quite intricate as well as colorful.
The upper ones resemble turtledoves
and the lower trio look like seahorses!
Well, to me, okay?
(smile)

This one is definitely more modern,
even though it is also from the 1930's.
Why did I snap its picture?
It's for my bfe.
I knew he would appreciate
that his beloved cat
had a hotel named for him.
Rock on, Victor!

Maybe, just maybe, this was the
original part of The Victor.
The streamliner detailing would certainly point to that time period.
But dig that pool in the flatland between the two structures!
Can you imagine the strength of the supports for that body of water?

The Edison - how could a scientist
resist adding this to their collection
of snapshots?
They could not.
Well, I certainly could not!
Plus, it was right across the street
from my destination.

After a perusal of the gift shop -
and use of the other gift card to purchase two souvenir magnets -
I checked the time.
Oops! Almost time for the bus!
And look, up in the sky!
I am loved!
What a fabulous morning!

I even had time to take
yet another photo of the
beautiful Crescent resort.
I do so adore this 1938 structure!
The frosted color tones,
the sweeping curves,
the tiara of portholes!

And here is my favorite shot!
This seems most like one of the magnets I bought, with its triplet of Art Deco hotels in daylight.
In particular, the central building looks straight off the magnet!
With good cause, too.
The McAlpin, built in 1940, is one of the most iconic structures
on Ocean Drive and has been repeatedly photographed.
Ocean Plaza, rounding out my trio, seems rather tame
by its right side.

Then Alfred arrived to collect me!
After a pit stop at the main office to collect other fares, we were on our way!
First stop for viewing?
Ocean Drive!
How funny is that?!
(smile)

I'm pretty sure the guide said that
The Tides was where Will Smith
and his family stayed when they
wanted to be on Ocean Drive.
(Later, we see their home
on Star Island!)
I could be wrong, but I am not,
as their blog confirms.

The Clevelander is the locale featured
in what 1992 movie?
I'll give you two hints:
Whitney Houston
and Kevin Costner.
You got it -
"The Bodyguard"!

Here's another movie site!
You want two hints for this one?
Robin Williams
and Gene Hackman.
The 1996 comedy, "The Birdcage".
Yes, indeed, Mango's Tropical Cafe
was the drag club!
I'll have to check it out tonight!

Here's one that was new to me.
Located in the 500 block,
the Barbizon had snazzy vertical stripes,
like suspenders,
running up its front face.
I do so like the Art Deco look!
I would love to do my house like that,
but to be true to the style,
I would need three stories...
and my house is a ranch.

In style, I mean.
(smile)
Now, then, I don't want you to think
all of the Art Deco is on Ocean Drive.
Collins and Washington have
several buildings in that style,
including this complex of
offices and shops.
Such a lovely walkway, too!

Then we were crossing the bridge
from one side of Miami to the other.
Did you know Miami has a river
that runs through it?
It's actually a series of islands,
much like home.
Shown here is Star Island,
home of many celebrities.
I'll get a close-up view soon!

And this the the marina
which has appeared in
so many television shows
past and present!
"Miami Vice" led the way,
but then came "CSI: Miami"
and "Burn Notice".
No wonder it looks familiar!

I have no idea what this building was.
I am fairly certain Al didn't say anything about it.
So, why is it here?
Because I liked the ocean mural on its wall.
I only wish I could zoom in on it a bit more.
It's gorgeous!

This building did get a special mention,
as well as a brief stop for a photo op.
I chose to make mine an action shot!
(smile)
This is the Miami Dade College
Museum of Art + Design.
I'm sure I would have enjoyed the diverse exhibits there.

What about this cool church?
The trio of bells in the gray tower,
the creamy beige of the cross against that perfect blue sky,
the bright red of the building blocks,
the palm trees reflected in the windows...
such serenity and grace and happiness,
all in one man-made space.
Incredible.

Then we arrived for the Aqua portion
of the tour!
Woohoo!
I sat topside, with the breeze in my face and the sun on my back.
You better believe that pink hat
was safely stowed, thank you,
and the sunglasses firmly in place!

What a great skyline!
I had hoped to see something like this when I was driving in, but the view from the water is always better.
Plus, someone else was driving,
so I could definitely relax
and enjoy the ride!
(smile)

In fact, all of us were settled in for an enjoyable ride in the waterways around this plethora of islands.
As I said, I was topside.
There were just as many more down on the first deck, sheltered from the breeze and close to the stocked bar.
None of that for me, thanks.
I'll take my trip straight. (smile)

This is the south end of South Beach!
I recognized that colorful building,
there in the middle,
with the turquoise studding
its manly brick chest!
No, I don't know what it is called,
but I noticed it on my first day,
as I was walking down the shore.

Ah, this was the good life!
It truly was!
Leaving the planning and driving to someone else and simply being present for the moment and the ride!
I could show you photos of the celebrity homes, especially that of Hugh Hefner on Palm Island (that has to be an inside joke, right???), but mostly you would see people on that side of the boat.

But isn't this water beautiful???
And that sky... such a true blue dream,
as e.e. cummings would say.
The skyline had a tall white spire saluting the heavens, but I don't recall what the captain said about it.
I was too captured by the sight.

Then we were back to port and back on the bus and motoring along in Coral Gables.
You know what that name means?
Just look at this photograph.
That gateway, or gable, has coral on top.
Ta dah!
Yes, it truly is just that simple.
Dead, white, bleached coral was used for yard and street decor all over this area.

Next up was Little Havana, "Cubania".
And the angels sing,
Mr. Johnny Mercer would have said!
This particular angel
is a jazz artist
atop a table at Cuba Ocho.
I loved this place!
It was truly a museum, having food to satisfy the soul.

On every wall,
art was presented,
whether it be in black and white
or full, vibrant color.

Cultura es Libertad

Indeed it is, my friends, indeed it is!

There was even a comic strip,
occupying an entire wall outside,
where all passersby could partake.
Signed simply "Aristide",
it is actually the work of
Cuban artist Aristides Pumariega.
The previous work was his, too.

This homage to
Cuban jazz musicians
was also created by him.
In fact, all of the work
on the exterior of this
restaurant cum art house
was done by this one man,
just a few years ago.

I had discussed the works with this woman.
She had noticed my genuine interest in the art and had come over to talk to me about the artist.
As we were boarding the bus, she came on
in pursuit of me... to award me with one of the palmetto roses she makes.
How very nice of her!
She even made one for the Italian grandmother sitting beside me!
What a grand ending to the tour!