i am not alone, reprise

Honestly, I could not decide whether I should scribble this in the sands of my beach or onto a slip for my jar of enjoyments.
So, I am doing both.
***** ***** *****

That was the message in the two movies I saw at the Royal Cinema today.
The work on my car took less time than I had expected - most likely because Tim the mechanic was looking out for me - so I took her for a spin out to Pooler.
You know, where it's cooler.
(Maybe you have to be from around these parts to get that joke.)
One of the movies was a limited-run foreign independent feature; the other was a newly-released science fiction blockbuster. Both were movies that very much appealed to me.
Each of them carried the same message to me.
"I am not alone."

"Meet The Patels" was the first film of my double-feature picture show. It followed Ravi, a 29-year-old single Indian man in the United States, still unwed and never with a girlfriend. At least that's what his parents thought! So, they convince him to allow them to help him find a wife. His sister, a couple of years older, also unwed, and his house-mate, is filming the whole process, probably to keep the focus Ravi and his troubles.
(Get it? That bit about "keep the focus"? Nice one, eh!)
(smile)
He was very uncomfortable about the dating process. The small talk, the whole business of trying to get to know someone and judging their compatibility over a lunch or dinner. His folks enlist the aid of all they know, as well as having him search Indian matrimonial sites and having him attend the Patel Matrimonial Convention, to enlarge the pool of possible wives for him.
Yikes. Meanwhile, his sister is realizing the things she may have been doing wrong on her dates as she watches her brother flounder around.
And I realized I was not alone in my dread of dating.
That's reassuring, in an odd way.
I've been married twice. The first time was with a guy I was going through school with in Great Lakes, Illinois. After just two years, we both realized we were not quite right for each other. Ten years later, I wed for the second time, this time with a man who worked with my friend Rhonda. I had thought that marriage would last forever.
Not quite, but it did last for fifteen years, and most of that time was happy.
I want that again.
I have no idea how to get it.
Like Ravi and his sister, I've tried two of the online dating sites, and had limited success with one of them. Like Ravi and his sister, I have found that manner of meeting people to be awkward and complicated.
Good to know that others have shared those experiences.
That's not to say that I don't know people who have successfully navigated those ether waters and emerged with a spouse in hand. In fact, those people started fishing at the same time I did in 2008. Those people are still married to the catches they found there, too.
So, it is possible, apparently.

The second movie today was "The Martian". Oddly, the message I heard from this one echoed that of the first.
I am not alone.
Seeing the man on the red planet, stranded without company and without communication capabilities, turn to keeping a video journal for company resonated with me.
My journal isn't video format, although I do include photographs and pictures on occasion.
Many times, I am writing to clear my thoughts, to make sense of feelings, to record observations.
Mainly, I write to fill a void, to retain my sanity.
To not feel alone.
He was keeping his journal for the same reason, not knowing if anyone would ever see his messages, hoping someone would.
He truly was alone, 140 million miles away from the closest human, from another living creature, for almost four months before contact was finally made with NASA.
Watching him is when I realized: I am not alone.
I am on a planet with billions of other humans.
I have neighbors I can call upon for help.
I have family and friends, in town and scattered outward, that I can call or visit on facebook or in person.
I am not alone.

I am truly blessed.